Firsts

Three days ago, I had a conversation with a mom friend about how her fourth child was going to be her latest walker, yet. And I wondered when my fourth child walked, especially if it was late or early in comparision with the other children. I didn't know.

I looked on his first year calendar, which was only filled in to the sixth month. Uh-oh. I hoped I had written the info somewhere.

I went back looking on old calendars (which I keep to put scrapbook pages in the order that the events happened) and in old journals. I had the information to fill in his first year calendar! Yay! Good news!

All this sleuthing led me to compare more than just when the youngest walked but other interesting trivia, to their mom at least. This is what I found:

Rolling Over from Tummy to Back
S was 5 days old! (yes! it is true)
L, M and J were almost 3 months old

Rolling from Back to Tummy
S at 3 months
L & J were right around 3 1/2 months
M 4 1/2 months

Crawling on Hands & Knees
S * 6 months
M * 7 months
L * 7 1/2 months
J * 8 1/2 months

First Step
S * 9 months, 4 days
J * 10 months, 2 weeks
L * 1o months, 3 weeks
M * 11 months, 1 week

Walking
J * 11 months, 2 weeks
S * 11 months, 2 1/2 weeks
M * 11 months 3 weeks
L * 12 months, 1 week

Running
J * 12 months, a few days
He is the only child that I wrote down when he was running! He went the quickest from a step to a walk to a run.

First Tooth, Second Tooth
M * 6 months * 6 1/2 months
J * 7 months (1 day before) * 7 months (4 days after)
S * 8 1/2 months * 8 3/4 months
L * 9 3/4 months * 10 1/2 months

First words
L * Night, night
S * Daddy
M * Mama
J * Ball

It cracks me up that the boys first words were about events or things -- night, night & ball. It seems fitting then that the girls' first words were people: daddy & mommy.

I think the most surprising element in my research was that my first born wasn't the soonest in any accomplishment! I thought he was the most amazing kid and would wow the pediatrician at his amazing prowess at being able to roll over and walk and talk. The doc always said he was "normal". And I thought, "Normal? You mean brilliant! Exceptional! Extraordinary!"

Now, I know that normal development and healthy are wonderful words to hear. But, it was a serving of humble pie for this mother. And here it is surprising me again that my first born didn't accomplish any of these milestones sooner than other children except for me. He was the first child that I watched roll over, take a step, and get a tooth and walk. He still is exceptional to me and so are all three of the others: each in their own unique way and because they belong to me.

On being there

Several years ago there was a rush of events around a Thanksgiving time that included my dad being in the hospital for gall bladder surgery. As I recall there had been a snow storm and someone needed to help shovel mom and dad's driveway. I was in Tennessee and everyone else is in Minnesota. (It's still that way.)

I remember talking with one of my siblings (I have four) and saying how much I wanted to be there. I think it was a sister who said, "It's okay. There's nothing you can really do." She was trying to comfort me. And what she said was true: there wasn't anything more that I could do.

In a way, she felt similar to me, we wished we could do something. Something to fix it. Something to help. Oh, someone went and shoveled the driveway and made sure my mom could get to the hospital. People waited at the hospital and visited dad. Those were things that could be done. And they were done. But sometimes it doesn't seem like enough.

But I lived 900 miles away. My heart ached to be there even though there was nothing I could do.

I want that strong sense of wanting to be there even though there isn't anything to do to infuse my every day life here. A sense of focus on being over doing.

I still live 900 miles away from my family of origin. But recently I was enabled to be there for a family crisis (you can read about that here) which is no small feat. In-laws and friends helped my husband take care of our four homeschooled children so that I could just be a sister.

And in the being, there was doing: laundry, phone calls, playing with my niece, driving places. But the primary focus was being with some doing sprinkled in (even on the "busy" days).

I would like to take this back to my life: a focus on being rather than doing. Things still need to get done. I am responsible for more things now that I am home, responsible for different things.

But, I want the peaceful focus of being there to infuse my life all of the time.

Not sure how to do it. But then again I didn't know how to do many things while I was away. I trusted God just one step at a time. So I guess I'll keep doing that same thing: trusting one step at a time and

just being there.

Isn't that just what I said I wanted: to be versus do?


By the way, my dad recovered just fine from the gall bladder surgery those many years ago.

Nineteen Days

Nineteen days I have been away. Nineteen days that have marked my life. Nineteen days of mostly walking quietly, listening, seeing what needs to be done and doing it. Asking a few questions and listening some more. When asked "will you do this?", saying yes whether I wanted to or not or whether I had done it before or not. My willingness made me qualified for the task. My willingness made me want to do the tasks. Just like the others around me.

I joined their willing example when I arrived to the loving vigil. I was allowed to step in and link arms and serve. There was waiting; there was giving pain meds; there were phone calls; there were photos; there was laughter; there were tears; there was tension; there was love. And there were lots of hugs.

There was really good food, wine and beer. There was labored breathing. There was ice cream. There were groans. There was chocolate. There were stories. There was laughter. There were tears. There was waiting and lots of hugs. There were family and friends who were really family, too. There was little sleep. There was a quiet last breath.

And I was there. Usually I live 900 miles away but I was allowed to be there, for nineteen days.

Wordless Wednesday (almost)

This picture of my sister, her husband and daughter was taken last November at our parents' 50th wedding anniversary. It is ironic to me that they are sitting under this banner because they will not ever celebrate 50 years together. Not because they don't want to. They do very much want to. He is losing a battle to pancreatic cancer. His last hours here on earth are imminent. As someone posted on their caring bridge journal: Barry is raw courage and Nancy loyal perseverance. Today's post is in honor of them.

With much love,
Kathleen

Treasure Test

This weekend we had a friend from Croatia eat dinner with us. On Saturday, we met a new friend from Asia. They have reminded us of our blessings here in America. We can read our Bibles; gather together with friends at home; we can buy discounted clothing; we reap from a spiritual harvest from generations long ago.

I am glad to be reminded of things that are easy for me to take for granted because I have always had them.

We also drove around and saw some of the devastation from the floods last weekend. Two different families from church came out of their homes with the clothes on their backs. That's it. As my daughter prayed that night with the woman's words: "Things are things. People are people." They had the most important thing: each other. They survived the flood with each other.

We work hard to have beautiful things around us that can be destroyed in a moment's flood.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21

May my treasure be in God Himself and His beautiful created people. May I enjoy the beauty that is around me and even work to make my home beautiful but not to the point of treasuring the things above the people that live here. When disaster strikes, we are reminded of the most important things -- which aren't things at all but people.

Thankful today for the gift of today and the people that surround me each day -- my children and my husband.

Have a joyful day,
Kathleen

Hand Sanitizer, Paper Plates and a Lack of Laundry

Azaleas in our front yard.

What do hand sanitizer, paper plates, and not doing laundry have in common? They are part of what I am doing to conserve water after the weekend's Historic Flooding in Middle Tennessee. At least one water treatment plant has been flooded and so they have asked us to use half our normal water usage. So I figure we can use hand sanitizer a bit to wash our hands and more paper plates for a few less dishes. And I have a great excuse to not do as much laundry! I was trying to get away with not doing any. But that doesn't work in a family of six that includes dancers and ball players and your general-wearers-of-clothes.

But actually it is really good to think about NOT wasting water and using as little as I can. I should do it all of the time. I think of a friend living overseas who has only a certain amount of water all of the time. It gets turned off and on at random times for her. How much precious water I waste on a regular basis! I am thankful to think about conserving.

After two days of solid rain over the weekend, the sun has been out shining ever since. It is beautiful around here (like the pretty flowers above). God has given (the rain) and taken it away (so much sunshine!). The waters are receding, and the mess cleanup continues. Have you seen the Downtown Nashville and Opryland Hotel flooding pictures? Less available water available and less tourism, and we'll be feeling the effects for quite some time. Of course, those with the most damaged homes will feel it even longer.

But it is always inspiring to me how much neighbors help neighbors in times of crisis. People coming together to lend a hand. Most folks I know wish they could help more than they have (including me). It is good to get us out working side-by-side, reminding us that we need each other.

I am so thankful for the sunshine after the storm, a message that storms do end.

"This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

A Challenge of April --Blogging from A to Z

The day before April started, I saw a comment on Rachelle Gardner's blog about a blogging challenge. I linked over to Arlee Bird's blog who challenged folks to blog Monday-Saturday for the month of April which would include 26 days -- one for each letter of the alphabet. I had just been thinking that I needed to be more committed to this thing called a blog so in spite of a full calendar, I dived in to this everyday blogging challenge.

I began with the thought that I could do this even going out of town a couple of times. Write a few posts at a time and then merely make sure they post every day. Ha-ha! It could be said that I failed greatly since I entered 9 posts in the month of April. That falls quite short from the stated 26. BUT, I probably entered 9 more posts than I would have without the challenge.

I have learned how fun it is to have some new followers and followers that comment! Thank you Arlee, Ellie, Lisa, Melody, Deborah Ann,...and others. I know now how fun it is to make cyber friends. And thanks to all my In Real Life friends who have also commented (either here in the blog (Steve, Kristi, Steph & others) or have shot me an email -- like my dad)!!

I have also learned that I write better blog posts on a spiral bound notebook --- far away from computer land where distractions are too many to count.

It takes commitment to write--blogging or not. The writer's life requires a commitment to writing in the midst of baseball games, illness, historic flooding, missionary friends that we hadn't seen in five years, dance classes and homeschooling and being a wife and an aunt and a sister, family crisis 900 miles away where my heart is most of the time, ministry challenges in our church, teeth being lost (by normal growing children). It is easy to excuse NOT writing; it is much harder to be committed to writing and developing the gift in the midst of life.

These are the thoughts of a writer who could look like they failed but have NOT. For I am writing still and will continue...I press on.

Love, Kathleen