A year ago

Our Christmas 2012 photo: the six of us on vacation this summer. 

A year ago--almost to the day--I slipped on a step, twisted my knee, and needed rehab. No surgery needed, no exciting story to tell, just four months of physical therapy. That was December 27th, 2011.

Then, on the first Sunday of 2012, way back in January but just a few days after my injury, my pastor's wife felt compelled to read a devotional to the congregation. It was about how the Shepherd breaks the leg of  a sheep that wanders so that it learns to stay close to the Shepherd instead of wandering off all of the time.

It struck a chord with me even though I didn't feel like I had been wandering. Yet, my leg was wounded. I had a knee brace, crutches, and was arranging to have an MRI taken. Though I didn't know what it was, I had that sense it was a word from the Lord for me and so I trusted that in time it would be revealed how I had been wandering off.

Now, as I reflect on the year of 2012, I see that the Lord needed to draw me close to His heart for those  months. It wasn't due to sin & rebellion but rather it was preparation for future paths. I would desperately need easy recognition of His voice in the days ahead.

Without any official training, we would become foster parents for nine weeks. For a little over three weeks, we had eight children, for an additional five or so weeks we had five kids. It was an education on many levels. The most important lesson being about the provision of God. He sustains and works through me even when there is nothing left. Truly, that is when His best work usually occurs: when there is nothing left of me. At the very least I recognize it better because I know it definitely isn't me.

In the summertime, we had a small reprieve from unusual circumstances in which we crammed in as much fun as possible. Then, we returned to another crisis -- my father-in-law in the hospital trying to breathe after brain surgery to remove a non-cancerous tumor. It has been 15 weeks, over three months. There has been healing and hope in the midst of many setbacks.

What I didn't know in January is how much I would need the Lord and how drained and empty I would feel by the time October rolled around. That was only six weeks into a still on-going trial. How hard it has been to remain daily in the Word. How hard it has been to remember to pray before meals This is from childhood, folks! I grew up giving thanks before every meal. It's what we do. It's kind of like forgetting to brush your teeth. (Now that I say that I have forgotten that a time or two, as well, but not nearly as often as giving thanks.) How could it be that I have forgotten my way in this?

The Lord is kind, gracious, and forgiving. I'm glad that I have been reminded of where I was in December of last year and all that He has brought my family and I through. He goes before us and behind us. I am so thankful. He gives friends and family to support and some really great memories mixed in with the hard stuff. He loves us. He heals us. He takes us through trials. He grows us.

May I stay close to the Shepherd always, no matter the circumstance.

* * *

How about you? Have you gotten caught up in end-of-year reflections? 

Any insight you want to share?

A debt of love

At first, I saw only: "BILL, tips accepted." My snap judgment quickly led me to an inward sigh, "Ahh these children of mine, always asking for money."

She had done me a favor. Now she was not only charging, but accepting tips as well.  (Really it is her older brother who asks often for money. But they all got lumped together here in my sigh.)

But then...but then... I looked ...at my bill and read what it said. Not what I thought it said.

It was not a request for money. It was  a bill for love. "Tips accepted. BILL. 10 hugs, 20 kisses, 2 snuggles." Ahh, so it is my heart -- not hers -- that needs correcting.

She was not asking for money. She served me in love with breakfast. Now, I owed her love -- not money. She told me just how she wanted her love: hugs, kisses, and snuggles. Well, I could do that!!

You see. My children have been serving me ever so diligently since I twisted my knee two days after Christmas. There is a lot of stiffness in the morning. So it takes longer than usual to get going.

Yet, the sooner I can take my meds with food, the better. So, when asked, the older three children have cheerfully made me an egg. Each one in turn has done this, and more than once, too. They have also warmed up my coffee with just the right amount of half-n-half. Just the way I like "my precious" (as the children tease me about it.)

They have even brought it to my bedroom. This has allowed me not to move far and finish my quiet time before I leave the bedroom -- which is working for me right now and helps everyone have a better day if  I have spent time reading my Bible and praying before I tackle my day.

And so my eldest daughter brought me a lovely breakfast: cheesy scrambled egg, coffee, juice, and toast. When I was finished, she carted the dishes off and returned with a bill.

The BILL the next day from the younger daughter.

It reminded me of the verse in Romans:

"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another...."

What a practical, tangible way to owe the debt of loving one another. Hugs, kisses, snuggles, "I love yous". Those really are the best debt to have with one another.

It is interesting to say we have the continuing debt to love one another. Why does it say continuing debt, an ongoing debt? Why do we owe love? And how do we show it? Any thoughts?

Have a Happy Valentines Day!

and remember

"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law." 

Romans 13:8

Linking up with Jen at the SDG Sisterhood. 

380 Miles

In 2011, I logged three hundred and eighty miles on my running shoes. It is hard to believe that I ran that many miles. With something that impressive, it seems I would have set out to do it. I didn't.

Rather, after seven years of sporadic daily exercise, I decided to run a half-marathon because my sister-in-law was finally ready to run it with me.

That was the main goal. To run a half-marathon.

Since I had run a full marathon several years before I thought this would be an easy goal to tackle. I was wrong. Yes, you can write that down. I was wrong. Not running -- really at all -- for seven years, gaining the weight I had lost back, and entering into my forties doesn't make for easy half-marathon training.

On a crazy note, because it felt like work to train, it made it easier to make time to train. "I have to do this" seems much more compelling than "I love this!" Usually I feel guilty for doing something that I enjoy. This time I only remember one good training run.

Yet, the reason 380 miles is on my mind is the gratitude I have for them. You see, I twisted my knee two days after Christmas. Running the upcoming half-marathon this spring is out of the question. Walking it is a maybe and a daunting goal, considering that I have not bent my knee fully for 3 weeks.

I am so thankful that I have run a half-marathon and the full 26.2 marathon before that. That full marathon was one of my top two items on my life list I things I want to accomplish. This set-back is only temporary. I will be active again.

But it is not a blow to a dream-goal.

I am so thankful.

There is disappointment. My son and I had signed up together and were training together. I loved that. I am sad about not being able to do that.

But I am so thankful that this set-back isn't putting me in despair of reaching a dream that I've had for a long time. It can't!

This obstacle cannot strike a blow to the goal of running a marathon because I have already done it! Amazing!

Thus, this realization has caused me to think about the number one item on my life list. It has been there longer than running 26.2 miles.

So... now it's time.

Time to pursue that dream. Cross it off the list before some small obstacle knocks a blow to that dream-goal.

Hopefully next year at this time I will have logged 380 miles pursuing my other dream. No regrets. May the Lord continue to "teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12

How about you?
Have you ever encountered a disappointing set-back
that surprisingly gave you a better perspective on life?

Love, Kathleen

Linking with SDG Sisterhood at Jen's. 
and with the Company Coffee Girl's at Rachel's