Twenty three years ago today

Twenty-three years ago today I arrived in Tennessee in my shiny, bright, blue Toyota Tercel, loaded with most of my worldly goods.

I drove up a big hill and unpacked my belongings into Jill & Jane's place, where I lived for my first month in Tennessee. I secured an apartment for Tammy & I; we had mutual friends and had spoken on the phone. Our mutual friends said we had met at a retreat during college, but on that July summer day when Tammy opened the door to our apartment, we both agreed that we had never seen each other before that moment. A month later, Suzanne would join our apartment, making it a trio.

A year after I arrived in Tennessee, both Tammy & Suzanne had moved back to the Upper Midwest and I would be married to 'my friend, Kip.'  When I think of those early days of Tennessee, many, if not most, of those friends have moved away.

Growing up in Minnesota, I had always wanted to move South, where it was warmer. I had wanted adventures, to see places, to live overseas. After college I began my quest for adventure by applying for jobs outside of my home state. I interviewed in California and Michigan. I landed the Michigan job, where I spent my first year out of college. It was a trying, difficult year, but it honed my desires, specifically I realized that I didn't care as much what I would do for a career or what kind of adventures that I would have or where I would live but I definitely knew who I wanted to be with: Kip.

So I swallowed my feminine pride that wanted him to chase me, took a risk, and moved across the country to see if this friendship with Kip Jaeger might work out. And work out it did! We'll be celebrating our 22nd anniversary next month.

I needed to fly away from the home and family that I love dearly to find my own wings and to become my own person. I had no idea all that the journey would entail. Of course, none of us know that when we begin any journey or adventure. The unknown is part of the thrill & the excitement.

During these twenty three years, I have grown roots here in Tennessee and call it home. I have two homes now: Minnesota and Tennessee. Although the picture book Grandfather's Journey by Allen Say depicts a man torn between his two homes of Japan and the U.S.A, it accurately describes the emotional part of my story: both places are home, yet neither place is fully home.

Yet, perhaps that is as it should be. I am an alien and stranger on this earth waiting for my heavenly home, my true home. Although I have never been there, it is more home than any place I have ever been.

Twenty-three years ago today, this Minnesota lake girl landed in Music City to be near the love of my life. My journey here has been so much more but that's how it began and I'm celebrating that beginning today. 
 

10 Lessons of October 2014

10 Things I Learned in October 2014

1) I miss my family more than I realize. While hanging out with my mom, my sister, & my niece during their October visit, I realized afresh how much I miss all of my family. Just because I've adapted to the gap, does not mean the gap isn't there.

2) Huge beach balls, bubbles, and confetti all contribute to the art of celebration. Thanks to the Rend Collective concert and the reminder that we need to be intentional about celebration in our lives.

3) Trick or treating for teenagers is much more fun with friends.

4) I am inspired by high school debaters. They give me great hope for the next generation.

5) Sometimes when I am compelled to lead a Bible study, it isn't about some great work that God will do through me. Instead it is about a message that God has for me,  the Bible study leader. Right here.  Right now. The study is Stronger: Finding Hope in Fragile Places by Angela Thomas.

6) I have thoroughly underlined the book Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown. One among many insights gleaned and embraced is the fact that it is okay if I need to grieve differently than other people. I don't need to wait until everyone feels the same as me. I can do what I need to grieve even if it means this extrovert needs to do some of it alone.

7) As my sister shared some of her struggles as a single mom due to the death of her husband four years ago, I realized afresh we never know someone else's story and how they got where they are. I know her story; I have great admiration for how she lives out her path. However, when she shared some of her story, I realized that I needed to have more compassion on people when I don't know their story. It is a reminder that it is easy to judge by appearances.

8) I am learning afresh how much that I like to write. My Wednesday evenings have changed and I am taking the opportunity to write. I love it.

9) After one year on Facebook, I realize that more of my on-line time has gone to Facebook instead of reading and writing blog posts. Is this good or bad? Or the way that I want it to be? Not sure. But it is the reason why I have posted even less over the past year.

10) I am learning right now that I would really like lists to have 10 items even when I can't think of things that I have learned.

Linking with friends at Chatting at the Sky.
The End.

Ten thoughts for ten years of home education

Since the beginning of their school years, I have been educating my children at home. We have almost completed 10 years. If all goes as planned, I have 10 more to go. So in light of a half-way milestone, here are ten random thoughts about our last ten years in relation to learning. I don't know that this perspective or the things that I have learned are exclusive to home educators. I imagine parents of children who have been learning for ten years would have similar thoughts.

Ten Random Thoughts on Learning

1)  I have loved all the books that I have met through home schooling. My life has been greatly enhanced through the quality of books that I have found. I have always loved to read but, boy, I sure missed a bunch of treasures. I have no idea why. All of these great books are some of the best reasons for home schooling. So glad that I didn't miss out for a lifetime.

2) Teaching a child to read has been one of the highlights of my entire life. I've had the privilege four times. It's as grueling and exhilarating as giving birth --laborious and glorious!

3) Teaching my children at home has been easier and harder than I ever imagined. I remember the feeling of jumping off the homeschool cliff into so many unknowns. It's been easier than I thought because there are so many guides and resources available. Yet, it has been hard to navigate the management of a household, the curriculum, and the relationships all at once, all day, every day.

4) Home education provides flexibility. How this translates into real living is that not a lot of math problems actually get solved in the ICU waiting room. But some do. It also gives a chance for the grandchildren to bring joy and hope like nothing else to a struggling-to-breathe grandpa. Plus, some math did get done. Maybe as much as a distracted grandchild separated from the situation? In addition, we can keep right on going at that child's speed, taking time for math lessons missed during real life lesson time.

5) It is easy to feel like a failure when one is behind on lessons, the house is dirty, and grandpa still can't breathe. It is hard to be flexible with life's demands. It's hard to get behind on lessons, to have a dirty house. It's the best and worst of times.

6) The greatest personal growth has been the self-employment aspect. I don't make a very good school bell. I do really well finding out what the teacher or the employer wants and delivering it to them. Therefore, it has been different to be the teacher, the school bell, the one to enforce the deadlines for papers.

7) I am thankful for all of the people who we have met on this journey. I love the out-of-the-box creative thinkers. I love the support group where we pray for one another, challenge our thinking, and belly laugh together. I am a richer, better woman.

8) I've loved the learning--my learning. I've enjoyed creating an atmosphere where the children love to learn. I love reading picture books that explain things like clouds, popcorn, and how the inside of the human body works.  I love to explore and observe. I've loved having a front row seat to watching my children learn and bloom in their skills.

9) My favorite time of day right now is snuggling next to my eight-year-old and reading aloud together. The worst school days are those when I'm too busy for the best part.

10) The reasons that I started are not the same as the ones that have kept me going. I began with mostly academic pursuits in mind. I have kept on going due to the amount of time for the family to be together.

What are your reflections of learning in  your life?
Click here or scroll down to join us in the comments.

Also linking with Jen at SDG.

From here to there and back again (3,000 miles)

It's been awhile since I've appeared here in this writing space. I've driven 3,000 miles since I last posted and those are just the miles that I logged across country.I'm not counting the trips back and forth to friends, family, and camps. In this photo posed with a Route 66 mug full of steaming coffee, I am near the end of that 3,000 mile journey staying at a friend's airstream camper. What a perfect picture to depict our journeys from Nashville to Chicago to Minneapolis to Louisville and back again.. In addition to travels, here a few additional things going on in our household.

We have welcomed a new cat into our home.

We have put a new roof on the house. (Well contractors put it on but there is a process in all of it from selecting shingles to cutting a check)

We have celebrated 20 years of marriage with 6 days of hubby & myself while the kids spent a week at the cousins with their annual Cousin Extravaganza Time.

We celebrated a friend's milestone birthday with cherished friends singing 70-80s hits with a karaoke sing along, discovering once again how few words we actually know to the verses of those growing up songs.

We celebrated our niece's 8th birthday and climbed around rocks and through the rivers of Minnehaha Park in Minneapolis.

This are just a few of the things that have been happnening in this corner of my world. Many thoughts have been jumbling around in my head, a few have made it onto a page or two. Hopefully soon more words will join us here.

Love, Kathleen

19 Reasons I Love My Husband on Our 19th Anniversary

Celebrating our 19th anniversary in Pensacola, FL

Five days and nineteen years ago, my husband and I pledged our lives, our love, and honor to one another. In celebration of this momentous occasion, I have penned nineteen reasons that I love him.

 19. His penchant for hats.

Easter Sunday 2012

18. His diligence to look for a job during our Sea of Saturdays (what I termed our season of unemployment because every day felt like a Saturday with Daddy around all of the time). I knew he provided for us faithfully but his perseverance in making cold calls, writing and re-writing his resume,  filling out on-line applications gave me new appreciation for this hat-wearing man.

17. I love his ability to build things. He built a clubhouse for the kids out of a wooden fence that someone had discarded. He bought a box of nails and waa-la we have a clubhouse. He also built a tree house during the Sea of Saturdays.

16. He always wants to sit next to me whether it is at the dinner table, the pew at church, or the couch when we watch a movie. He scoots the kids over to sit next to me. Cherished in the little things I am.

Grizzly Adams with his wife in May 2012 before he shaved.

15. He is a simple man who enjoys simple pleasures. For instance, one of his main hobbies (he says) is growing hair. Look how much fun it can be to grow and shave off. Did you have any idea?

One of the first cuts.

He is just SO Silly!

14. His willing heart (and the kind of jobs he has had)  have allowed him to be available to troubleshoot problems with the kiddos during his work day. This kind of emotional support has been immeasurable to me.

Current Kip.

13. He is generous with his time and money: first with his family (we love vacation daddy!!), his friends, and those in need.

12. He drives 900 miles one way to take all of us to visit my family at least once a year. It's convenient that some of his family now live in the same city but for many years it was a commitment to keep us connected with extended family. It was important to both of us to find someone that fit in well with our family -- we succeeded! We truly enjoy vacationing with family -- what a gift that is.

11. I love how he learned to write cards and notes because it's my love language.

He is not a natural writer. (He is an excellent writer; he just doesn't do it often). When we were dating long-distance back in the day when our long-distance phone bills were costing us an arm and a leg, I would complain of how little he would write, certainly not up to my romantic ideals. He told me then that he had written to me more than anyone else in his life. I had to take it on faith back then but through the years he has written letters and postcards, even on short business trips figuring out how to send letters in advance from our city so that we would have some to open while he was away.

And just the other day -- on a random, ordinary day -- he left a card on the kitchen counter just because! Isn't he wonderful? (Is it getting too sappy yet? Breathe deep we're half-way through the list.)

10. He is an affectionate man, giving hugs and kisses because that's his love language. I have come to love it!

His penchant for hats slipped into his first half-marathon he ran this spring.

9. We love to play games together. The ones we play most often are: Yahtzee, Cribbage and Boggle. (His willingness to play Boggle with me is an act of love.)

8. The secondary love language for both of us is quality time which shows up in game playing, but also in almost daily or should I say --nightly -- talks debriefing about our day. I love it! So often he is ready for the sack but he devotes the time to talk with me. Now that IS true love!

7. I love his musical ability. He sings. He plays guitar. He drums. He breaks out into song often.

6. My planning heart can collide with his sequential "now what's next" ways. The flip side of this is that  he is great at being in this moment, right-now. Good for my soul, that is.

The Us Box in December 2011

5. I love his steady, happy self. He cheers up the household. It has steadied me much to be married to him.

4. I love his love for the Lord. He loves to go to church. He has such a clear idea of principles and just knows the right thing to do.

3. He works the equivalent of two jobs so that I can have the best job ever -- caring for our children and educating them. We have both been committed to that vision from the beginning.

2. He values my opinions, and my decisions. He trusts me. He supports me in so many ways. One of which is symbolized by allowing me to lead a women's Bible study. The kids are older so it doesn't cost quite as much now but he has always allowed me to have a ministry outside of our home.

Can you tell how much we like us by the amount of pix we take together?

1. The best thing that I love about Kip Jaeger is that I have been married to my best friend for 19 years. I have known him for more than half my life. He is the love of my life and my kindred spirit. I am thankful to have had so much time with him. May the Lord give us many more years to share.

How did you spend your Fourth of July? Would you like to count the ways you love your spouse?
Linking with Jen and the SDG sisters.

20 Things About Living in Tennessee for 20 years

Then, 1992

Now, 2012

Twenty years ago today, on June 11, 1992, I arrived in Tennessee with my blue Toyota Tercel packed to the brim with all my belongings.  I had finished my school-year contract in Michigan, visited friends and family in Minnesota (my growing up place), and drove across the country to live near 'my friend, Kip.'

Though I had always longed to move where it was warm and live somewhere else,  I never imagined I'd live in Tennessee. And, lo and behold, it's apparently been exciting enough since twenty years later I'm still here with no plans of moving in sight.

In honor of this milestone I've made a list! No particular order or importance -- mostly it's about the contrast of Tennessee living versus Minnesota living. 

Twenty Things I've Learned During Twenty Years In Tennessee. 

Enjoy the randomness!

1. I like ice tea, or sweet tea as they call it around here. Yummy! (This is due, of course, to the great amount of sugar that's in it.)

2. I also discovered that I like cornbread. Who knew that it could be moist and sweet and tasty?! Well, I guess Southerners did. We even make it ourselves now;  it is a hubby specialty around here. He asked a cook in a small meat-n-three (another Southern entity) for the recipe. Now, he wrangles up a pretty mean cornbread in our cast iron skillet.

3. Children here are expected to say 'Yes ma'am' and 'Yes sir' to their 'Mommy' and 'Daddy' for the rest of thier lives. I have not as fully embraced this concept as the ice tea and cornbread. So you just know those Southerners are 'blessing my children's hearts' because they're sweet-n-all but they just don't say 'yes ma'am' and 'yes sir' nearly often enough..

4. Opening doors is much less complicated in the South. Men open the doors.

I no longer wonder who will open the door when we both get there. I know exactly who will open the door. The man. It's lovely. I'm no longer outraged; I'm honored. I like it.

5. Oh, glorious spring, I had no idea how beautiful you could be. The gradual awakening of color that starts with the daffodils in March and ends with the Magnolias in May. Spring comes early and lasts long. This alone can make me totally smitten with the South (not to mention that I don't deal too much with allergies which seem develop for everybody once they move here. )

6. Below zero temps are not the only elements that make winters challenging -- damp and cold with gray skies for endless days have their own set of challenges.

7. They can cancel school based on the prediction of snow. Yet, it took about 15 years of living here before I ever went sledding in Tennessee.

8. Due to this tendency, I have had more days off work due to snow days in Tennessee than school days than I had in all my schooling years. Then, there's the grocery store when they've predicted snow. I just needed to do my regular shopping. Everyone else (it's always someone else, isn't it?) are there getting milk and bread as if we're about to be snowed in for days and days. (But remember that it took 15 years before there was enough snow to sled upon!?!)

9. We used to laugh at how everyone stayed home when it snowed. Now, we do, too. Especially after the ice storm where hubby's car was stranded on the side of the road. Then, he proceeded to walked 10 miles on the deserted ice.

10. The mosquitoes are smaller here and the snakes are larger. People will say the bugs are bad tonight. And I think, really? Thankfully I've only seen those really big snakes in pictures.

11. Not only is the spring and the fall colorful in the South, the language is as well. Up north we'll say, "Boy, he's deaf." Down here, they say, "He's deaf as a post." Up north, they'd say, "You're really bugging me." Down here, they say, "You're gettin' on my last red hot nerve."

12. People besides your own folk will call you honey, sweetie, and darling.

13. When you speak too fast for the Southern natives , they might just tell you that "the first thing you can do missy is to slow down." Then, you might just might need to transfer them to someone who speaks Southern. Yet, ten years later your children -- your very own children born of Mid-west parents just might not be able to understand a Minnesotan because "they talk too fast." Oh, the injustice of it all!

14. In Middle Tennesssee as we drive around town, we can play the license plate game and see all of the states. When we drive home to Minnesota, especially in the wintertime, the plates say Minnesota.  This exemplifies how Tennessee is more of a melting pot and how close so many more states are to it!

15. It took us a long time to meet someone who was actually born in here in this city in Tennessee and had family here. Initially we met mostly transplants.(See number 14 about the license plates).

16. I discovered that people from Minnesota really do have an accent.

17. I moved from the land of 10, 000 lakes to the land of rivers (and only one natural lake).

18. The Civil War is a big deal around here, which some call the War of Northern Aggression. There are reenactments and many historical sites. It's interesting to live among people who have a different perpsective. I've also learned who was the blue  and who was the gray.

19. Nine hundred miles is far enough to enjoy different weather but too far to be there for enough family celebrations or just being there in times of trouble.

20. The biggest thing that I have learned in the twenty years of living in the South. Is that a woman can live somewhere long enough to have more than one home. I have my growing up home that influenced me greatly. And now I have the growing up home of my children. I also long for a home that is not my own -- and I place that I haven't been yet.

Home really is where you hang your heart and my heart is divided in more than one place. One day I will go to the place that I will be at home even though I haven't ever been there. It won't feel strange and foreign like Tennessee did when I first arrived. I won't feel as if I no longer fit when I go back as I've changed some due to where I live. One day we'll be home, to that welcoming place that I have never been.

How about you? Do you have any interesting stories and impressions of where you live?

Linking with Jen at SDG Sisterhood.