Thanksgiving memories, grief and gratefulness

The surgical glove turkey bouquet that inspired my daughter's writing.

My daughter had her hands in soapy dish suds when I asked her for inspiration for a blog post. She had lots of ideas. One of them was to write a Thanksgiving memory. Before I could apply myself to write, she had finished a memory that she wanted to share with me.

She was so inspired by her own suggestion that wrote in-between washing the dinner dishes. She'd wash some dishes. Stop, dry her hands, and write a little bit. Then stop writing and wash some more dishes. Then, stop, dry her hands, then write some more. By the time she was done with the dishes she had composed a Thanksgiving tribute.

She read her narrative to her father, sister, and me. (Her brothers happened to be off somewhere.)

Her memories undid me.

I had started to type a Thanksgiving post while she was doing those dishes but I didn't get very far. The draft is still sitting in my stack of unfinished posts. I even went back to it after she had read hers to me. But I had been undone.

I had asked for an idea and received some therapy instead.  Somehow whatever it was that I was going to write dimmed in my mind. Instead, I cried. But instead of alone tears, we cried together the four of us that night.

We cried quiet, silent tears. For just a little while. It didn't take long and we all hugged together on the couch as we cried together. Those tears sure felt better than the Alone Tears we cry. Better than the sadness we carry in our hearts all alone. At least that's part of what I learned that night. That I wasn't the only one still feeling sad, still grieving.

Still grieving the death of  Papa, my husband's father. And perhaps we are still grieving the many days up to his death. Perhaps we are still crying the tears that we didn't have time to cry while up close we watched him suffer.

Papa on the left with his brother that same Thanksgiving of the turkey bouquet.

I often hover alone in my sadness wondering why my friends don't understand why I might still be sad. They seem surprised: "He was your father-in-law. Were you that close?" They look at me quizzically, especially if their own father-in-law has passed and they can see they haven't experienced what I am experiencing. But...that isn't the point.

Or maybe it is.

We all walk different paths. We have different journeys. While I'm part of the human race, therefore I do experience emotions that others experience. It's just that sometimes the people I'm rubbing shoulders with haven't had a similar enough of a journey to understand me at that moment in time. Especially without words volunteered from me about the path that I've been walking on. But sometimes it is hard to volunteer words when the path of crisis didn't allow time for feeling, for processing, for figuring out. And somehow it goes numb, or at least it's all so mixed up you don't know what to feel and all you really want is a nap.

Until two years later when my daughter writes and reads about Thanksgiving memories, putting into words what we were feeling, even if we didn't know it before she read her words.

There it was: an epiphany! It is right here in this house that I need to look for comfort. Right here with my own people: my husband, my daughters, my sons. These my closest of friends. We have traveled the paths together. The uncomfortable changes. The front row seat to suffering. The amazing provisions. The answered prayers. And... the lingering sadness.

Here is a source of comfort that I had overlooked.

I was cheered that night of the tears and the group hug on the couch. Perhaps it is why it was easy to speak of Papa over the Thanksgiving table.

We shared memories and laughed. We ate and talked and reminisced and sat in the hot tub he kept running. We slept peacefully in the house that he and Grandma lived for more than twenty years.

It was a peaceful Thanksgiving and I'm giving quite a bit of credit to a reading shared, a group cry and a group hug before we headed off to Grandma's house. We added to that long conversations, long naps, and easy laughter.

A peaceful Thanksgiving for which I am grateful. Amen.

"Give thanks in all circumstances. " I Thessalonians 5:18

Some circumstances are just easier to give thanks in than others. Wouldn't you agree?

How to Change Frustration to Thankfulness

Let’s play a game. What do a rock, a magnetic letter “R”, and a fruit snack wrapper have in common?

Can you guess their commonality?

Aww, it may be a trick question since their connecting point is simply that they have all been found in my purse.

Yep, you got it. A rock, an R, and a wrapper lived in my purse for a time.   

Sometimes when I notice such things, I get a ‘burst of love’ and I delight in the children that put them there. But, unfortunately, there are the many other times that I just get frustrated. Often, I sigh, “Why is this in here? Who put a rock in my purse? Why do they think my purse is a garbage can?”

On those days, all I can see is work, inconvenience, and thoughtlessness. Rocks need to go outside. Toys need to be put away. Wrappers need to go in the garbage can. Why am I the only one who cares about such things?

When I first became a mom, it was easier for me to be thankful because there was a time when I thought that I couldn’t have children. Sadly as the years sail on by, I easily forget these words that I penned long ago:

“There are so many hopes and dreams tied up into having a baby that I never fully realized were there. Until now. When we are really trying.  And it’s not happening. I can’t believe how much it is a daily ache within me. Yet, I am still hopeful and know that it’s the Lord who opens and closes the womb. And He can choose to do that for us.”

 Eventually, God granted our hope and dream of children.

About nine months after my firstborn son arrived, I said, “The hardest of days with my child are better than the best of days when the longing was so great.”

I wish I could hang onto those feelings of overwhelming gratitude.

But, to be honest the day-to-day grind takes its toll. I often do not stop to ponder and delight in my children. Nor am I thankful for all things at all times.

However, I recently discovered how to change my frustrated thinking into thankfulness. Angela Thomas, in her book Tender Mercy for the Mother’s Soul, says:

The blessings of motherhood have been honored through the ages. Somewhere inside of us, God has told us that this assignment and these relationships surpass any calling on earth. Somewhere in your soul, you know that to hold your own baby and kiss the back of his neck is a holy privilege. The blessings of motherhood are the kinds of things that take our breath away—the moments you hold in your heart forever.

            One day someone asked me, “What are the three hardest things about having four small children?”

            I quickly responded, “No sleep, the never-all-folded laundry and talking to little people all day.”

            Then he asked, “What are three of the best things?”

            I immediately realized that the blessings came attached to the frustrations. “The best things are having my three-year-old crawl into the middle of our bed around 2 a.m. and hold my hand the rest of the night … clean-footed pajamas on freshly bathed toddlers, scooting around the house until bedtime…and the tender words that come from the pure heart of a child.”

 ‘Blessings come attached to the frustrations.’ To learn how to see the blessing that is tied to the frustrations of life is the key to learn how to give thanks for all things at all times.

So, here, I’ll go first.

What can I be thankful for with this rock? Well, when I ask my children who made the rocks, they gladly shout, “God did.” I am thankful for their tender hearts that so easily claim the truths of Jesus.

What about the letter “R”? When I think of this letter R, I can see my two-year-old handing it to me and saying, “Here go, Mommy.” It is a gift from the hand of a two-year-old just because she loves me.

What about the fruit snack wrapper? I can remember the delighted whoops in the grocery store when I finally said “yes” to one of their repeated demands of ‘Mommy can I have this?” Truly, it takes so little to please them.

I am deeply thankful to have children. Therefore, I am glad that I have a rock, a letter R, and a fruit snack wrapper in my purse. They are reminders that God has fulfilled a deep longing in my heart.

And so you just might find a rock in my purse and wonder why it’s there.

Well, I left it there to remind me to be thankful for the frustrations in life because they are really just reminders of how God has fulfilled a deep longing of my heart.

How about you? 

Can you think of the blessing that is tied to a frustration in your life? 

Please share in the comments.

How less can cultivate gratitude

One sweltering afternoon my oldest son played a baseball game. His five family members cheered him in the stands and melted in the fresh hot of summer. One player even fainted from the heat.

After the game, my husband went to the concession stand and purchased cold ICEE drinks for all four children. Inwardly, I groaned.

I braced myself for the moans and laments that would surely come. I was ready for a snotty toned "Well, it's about time" since it was the first slushy of the season and the season was done.

I expected an immediate return to the attitude of last season. The one where they asked for an ICEE as soon as we drove into the ball park and continued pestering until it was obtained.

My husband and I would delay the purchase as long as possible. We wanted them to wait a few innings because the games were long. Yet, we did want them to have a treat because we felt sorry that they had to watch those long games.

It also seemed fair to buy the watchers a treat since the ball players received one after the game. Thus began our toleration for their pestering demands that in a different situation I don't think we would have tolerated. 

Besides, it was only a dollar. So we bought the cool drinks.

We didn't set out to buy those slushies all season long. But that's what happened.

They nagged. We bought. At Every. Single. Game. We had set up quite a system. We thought we were directing the buying of the ICEE treats.

After awhile, though, something bothered us. But it was just easier to keep walking up and buying the cold  ICEE drinks instead of evaluating the problem. 

We just wanted to watch our oldest son play baseball and keep the others happy. It didn't cross our minds  to evaluate what was annoying us.   Thankfully, during next year's ball season it would work itself out naturally.

But I didn't know that yet.

Instead, I was braced for complaints the day those purchases were made on that hot sweltering day.

The flavors were selected. The sips were taken. And the children came running to their dad, saying, "Oh, thank you Daddy!" They were thrilled and thankful for what they had.

I was surprised! Shocked!

What did they say?

Thank you?!?

For this one ICEE on the very last day that the concession stand was open? It was the only one that they got all season long. Could these be the same children who the season before had complained, whined, and even demanded ICEEs?

How could this be?

****


It didn't begin as a noble effort to reduce whining, complaining, or children driving demands. Instead, we simply stopped buying ICEES due to the budget. They were only a dollar. But we had four children and more than one was playing ball that season.

We saved money. Instead of us buying treats, they spent their own quarters and dimes on ring pops and nerds. It was a bargain. One season we bought an ICEE for every child at every game.

The next season we stopped. Just like that.

Yet, we had done something to cultivate gratitude without knowing it. We gave them less. They became more grateful.

It was eye-opening. It was shocking how much MORE grateful they were with LESS.

Less demand. Less expectation. More gratitude.

And so less really can cultivate an attitude of thankfulness.

When they expected to get a treat, they began to demand to get a treat. And when it became special, they were thankful.

The lesson of an Icee. When we are given less, we expect less. When we expect less, we are thankfully surprised when something is given to us. And we are grateful.

It was an amazing process. It shocked me at the time and taught me a wonderful principle about how
less can cultivate an attitude of gratefulness.

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"I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, 

whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." 

Philippians 4: 12

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How about you? When have you been surprised lately? Join us HERE to comment on the blog. 

You can also join the SDG sisterhood with Jen HERE.

When Hibernation Gives Strength to Face the New Year

It's eleven days into the new year and my calendar is still blank. I am Hibernating and Pretending that nothing is calling my name. The empty boxes declare to me that each day is a new slate to spend the way I want. No one has pre-determined my course for the day. For the month. For the year.

The cold temps of this past week have contributed to the delinquency of catching up my calendar. Colder temperatures have visited Nashville this past week than they have in a couple of decades. This led to Cancellations and Delays, including my continued pretense that I live a non-busy life.

For the past two weeks, I have not been called hither and yon. I've stayed home since the family left-town. It was a beautiful holiday season twinged with sadness, tension, and beauty. Lots of beauty and gifts. Yet, the days following the holidays have been my favorite.

My husband had a few days off from work that we did not squander in travel but spent at home all together. The children rejoiced at just being home altogether with no place to go, no work projects to do. Instead we were just together. Sometimes playing a game. Sometimes reading. Sometimes doing our own creative thing.. We watched several movies. What a treat! We just hung out at home. Then, my husband returned to work, and the kids and I have gradually gotten back to our duties, too.

Due to the cold temps my usual activity whirlwind was suspended just enough longer to hunker down still for the second week of January. I had just enough social contact to keep me sane. Yet, the rest from swirling activities and trying to keep up and not miss anything has been a balm to my soul. It has been like taking a Great. Big. Deep. Breath. Can you hear my soul breathing a sigh of relief from there?

Usually, it is hard for me to stay home because I feel like I am missing out on something. I want to participate! I want to have fun! Therefore these cold-weather cancellations gave permission to plant my feet right here at home where I have wanted to be with no expectation from anyone in the Southern regions to move at all. Hiding and hibernation are exactly what everyone is doing. It's all the rage!

I couldn't find this more than fabulous even though I grew up in Minnesota where they didn't cancel for cold weather!?! Are you crazy? Life would be shut down for half of the year if they did that Up North. But here in the Southland, things shut down in the cold and snow. Or, at the very least slow down for just  a little while, because we can. We simply hunker down with the Southern Natives and wait a few days for it to thaw out. We always hope that our milk and bread supply is sufficient because snow forecasts cause a run on the grocery stores down here. The other great prayer to pray is for one's pipes NOT to  freeze! Insulation grades are not the same Down Here as they are Up There.

I've gladly taken these contributions to my Hibernation Mode. These few days of slowing down, cancellations, and lesser expectations. It's just what I've needed to face the blank slate of the New Year.

And as it warms up, I guess the ink will flow once again onto the January calendar. I can hide and pretend for only so long that the responsibilities, activities, and to-do lists are not yet calling my name.

Soon enough it will be time to write the upcoming events of our beautiful life on the calendar. But for now I tip my black snow hat and raise my cup of Chai tea to the cold. I will trust that this deep soul breath will help strengthen me for the days ahead as I head off into the whirlwind activity that will come in due time but not today. Not yet.

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How about you? How's the start of your January been?

Birthday Boys {day 15}

Clarence turned 80 on Tuesday, a much better birthday this year than last year. Jack turned 8 on Friday. They have often shared their birthday celebrations, including four pirate cakes. We are rejoicing that God spared Clarence's life last year and has brought him to such a place of health. Jack shares his grandpa's middle name, may he also inherit his determination, fun, integrity, and his love for family and for God.

Last year on his birthday, Clarence was in the ICU. I distinctly remember a nurse asking him if he was having a nice birthday. He shook his head vigorously 'no' because he couldn't speak due to the trach in his throat. My oldest son made him a cardboard cake. His friends from church sent him a big banner that they had all signed. One of his sons coordinated a call to him when we were there in the ICU so that we could speak on Clarence's behalf.

Clarence is so radiant in the picture from yesterday. He is a living, walking, talking miracle. He is still recouping from all that happened to him last year. Yet, we rejoice and are thankful for these days.

Praise the Lord. Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever. Who can proclaim the mighty acts of the Lord or fully declare His praise? Psalm 106:1-2

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This is part of the 31 Day series: 
The Clarence Chronicles: Lessons of Faith from the ICU

Click HERE to read Day 1, which links to all the posts in this series.

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Spared from sorrow upon sorrow {day 10}

Click here to read {day 11: The Hardest Day}
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This is part of the 31 Day series: 
The Clarence Chronicles: Lessons of Faith from the ICU

Click HERE to read Day 1, which links to all the posts in this series.

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Breathing In and Breathing Out {day 2}

A perspective from a year ago in October (2012) : 
Breathing in & breathing out
Something I have often taken for granted.
Actually most every single breath of my life, I have taken for granted.
I have always assumed the next one would be there.

My father-in-law has been struggling for breath for over 6 weeks now. On & off the ventilator 5 times. As I run,  I am so thankful for my knees to be working again. In January there were days that I worried if I would walk without pain again. I worried that I may never able to run again. Now as I run again, my lungs struggle to keep up. I breathe deep. I ask God to help my father-in-law to breathe.

Clip-clop
Thud-hop
I run along.
Hope & pray
Three minute run.
One minute walk.
I am so glad to be walking & running & bending my knee.

Now I'm hoping he will learn to breathe on his own again
 I pray. I hope.
With each of my own breaths
I struggle, I breathe
May my father-in-law also breathe

Stepping
Hopping
Hoping
Running
Praying

Breathing in & breathing out on my run
Deep breaths that my father-in-law is struggling to take on his own
For more than 6 weeks now
He has struggled to breathe in various degrees

So many things I have taken for granted.
So many.
Too many.
As I run on rehabed legs, as I breathe deep into my lungs
Lord, please help Clarence breathe. Amen.

Six weeks and counting....
Breathing In & Breathing Out

"...He Himself gives everyone life and breath..." Acts 17:25

Click here to read {Day 3: Anointing Oil}

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This is part of the 31 Day series: 
The Clarence Chronicles: Lessons of Faith from the ICU

Click HERE to read Day 1, which links to all the posts in this series.

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Click HERE to read other 31 Dayers who are also taking the 31 Day challenge.
Click HERE to read Imperfect Prose with Emily.

No greater love

"Greater love has no one than this: 

to lay down one's life for one's friends." John 15:13

Taken in D.C. last summer at the Washington Monument by me. 

As I reflect on this Memorial Day, I am reminded of those who have given their lives not merely for their friends but for strangers, for me. I am thankful for their sacrifice. I am thankful for their example of thinking of others before themselves. I am thankful they had vision for the future generations that would benefit by their courage.Two friends are serving on active duty right now.

Thank you to all the veterans who have served for our country and to their families that also surrender their own desires for others.
-Kathleen

What we've been up to this weekend

The kids and I made a welcome banner when we heard Papa might be coming home. I did the lettering. The four kids painted the banner.  It sure was touch-n-go even on that day. At least three, if not more, times we heard that he's not coming home. He arrived around 9 o'clock on Friday night. We have all learned a lot about hospitals, doctors, nurses, and medical procedures these past four months. We are still learning. Now, it is about home health care and how to nurse our loved one back to full health. We are so thankful that he's alive and now even closer to us.

Meagan waits with Grandma after a stressful day of waiting. Transitions and beginnings are so hard. We were glad that he was coming home but there was a lot to coordinate to get him here, which mostly other people do. We had to wait and wait. And sometimes that is the hardest thing to do.

T

In his bed, Grandpa made it! After four long months in the hospital, he finally made it home. One third of a year he has spent away from home, including three hospitals and a nursing facility. As Sophie said, "The last time I roller-bladed at his house, I was in shorts. Now it's chilly. It made me realize how long he has been in the hospital." It has been so nice to have him around this weekend as we learn how to do tube feedings, nebulizer treatments, and help him walk and other various duties. We can let him nap while we play a game or do a craft. He is always around us when he is awake. So nice for him and for us.

I love this shot of Papa being wheeled into the house. You can see his name blurred in the background. He has an amazing amount of determination and courage. I have learned a lot by watching him these past four months. I have learned about living a life of no debts, especially relationally. He has lived a life of integrity, a life of faith. He has walked the path of submission. One cannot always see the most valuable things easily.

In the middle of the weekend, Grandma taught the grandkids how to make Kringla, one of my very favorite desserts that she makes. They are baking as I type. Yum. Yum. They will soon be gone.

The kids have made Kringla, duct tape wallets, played lots of games with Aunt Kay, and rollerbladed. This is much nicer than hanging out in hospital waiting rooms for them. I imagine we'll be having more school days over here in the future to provide support for Grandma as she nurses Grandpa back to health.

Some napping has also been in order this weekend. Kip grabs a bit of shut-eye on the front porch in the amazingly nice weather. We have all had a lot of information to absorb about when and how to administer medicine and coordinate supplies coming to the house. Much to learn. Much to do. Plus, Kip has been night duty, sleeping near Grandpa.

A beautiful weekend. So thankful for so many things, especially loving family that supports one another. Linking with the Company Coffee girls. Join us for a chat if you like.

A sacrifice of praise

"Through Jesus, therefore, 

let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise-- 

the fruit of lips that confess his name." 

Hebrews 13:15

On holding hands and telling stories

They sat together today. He in the chair. She on the bed. She held his hand. She told him about the grandchildren opening the trunk of costumes out in the barn. And the hours of fun the children had trying on costumes and looking at the mirror. And he smiled and laughed (a silent laugh but a laugh none-the-less). She told him how they caught a mole. And how Sophie held it. And how it had paws like shovels and silky fur. And he smiled and laughed some more.

 She asked him if he'll be able to polka in November when the kids come for Thanksgiving to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. He shrugged his shoulders.

We cheered when he sat in a chair today because it has been days and days and days since he sat in a chair. And the Occupational Therapist had him shrug his shoulders today. Perhaps that's why he was good at that.

He asked her to massage his arms. And she did. So lovingly. Together almost fifty years. Their oneness evidenced by me in the hospital today. Invited and welcomed to be there.

And we are thankful that he breathes today. Better than yesterday.

Thankful for today.
Thankful that he breathes.
Thankful that he communicates.
Thankful she held his hand and they shared life together today.
Thankful for a story about costumes and moles during a long hospital ICU stay.

Maybe more of my time should be spent holding hands and telling stories.
Creating more margin for the real space of real life to take place.

I am thankful for today, even though he is still in ICU, even though it has been longer than 30 days.
Amen.

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What are you thankful for today?

Linking with Ann, Jen and Emily this week.

19 Reasons I Love My Husband on Our 19th Anniversary

Celebrating our 19th anniversary in Pensacola, FL

Five days and nineteen years ago, my husband and I pledged our lives, our love, and honor to one another. In celebration of this momentous occasion, I have penned nineteen reasons that I love him.

 19. His penchant for hats.

Easter Sunday 2012

18. His diligence to look for a job during our Sea of Saturdays (what I termed our season of unemployment because every day felt like a Saturday with Daddy around all of the time). I knew he provided for us faithfully but his perseverance in making cold calls, writing and re-writing his resume,  filling out on-line applications gave me new appreciation for this hat-wearing man.

17. I love his ability to build things. He built a clubhouse for the kids out of a wooden fence that someone had discarded. He bought a box of nails and waa-la we have a clubhouse. He also built a tree house during the Sea of Saturdays.

16. He always wants to sit next to me whether it is at the dinner table, the pew at church, or the couch when we watch a movie. He scoots the kids over to sit next to me. Cherished in the little things I am.

Grizzly Adams with his wife in May 2012 before he shaved.

15. He is a simple man who enjoys simple pleasures. For instance, one of his main hobbies (he says) is growing hair. Look how much fun it can be to grow and shave off. Did you have any idea?

One of the first cuts.

He is just SO Silly!

14. His willing heart (and the kind of jobs he has had)  have allowed him to be available to troubleshoot problems with the kiddos during his work day. This kind of emotional support has been immeasurable to me.

Current Kip.

13. He is generous with his time and money: first with his family (we love vacation daddy!!), his friends, and those in need.

12. He drives 900 miles one way to take all of us to visit my family at least once a year. It's convenient that some of his family now live in the same city but for many years it was a commitment to keep us connected with extended family. It was important to both of us to find someone that fit in well with our family -- we succeeded! We truly enjoy vacationing with family -- what a gift that is.

11. I love how he learned to write cards and notes because it's my love language.

He is not a natural writer. (He is an excellent writer; he just doesn't do it often). When we were dating long-distance back in the day when our long-distance phone bills were costing us an arm and a leg, I would complain of how little he would write, certainly not up to my romantic ideals. He told me then that he had written to me more than anyone else in his life. I had to take it on faith back then but through the years he has written letters and postcards, even on short business trips figuring out how to send letters in advance from our city so that we would have some to open while he was away.

And just the other day -- on a random, ordinary day -- he left a card on the kitchen counter just because! Isn't he wonderful? (Is it getting too sappy yet? Breathe deep we're half-way through the list.)

10. He is an affectionate man, giving hugs and kisses because that's his love language. I have come to love it!

His penchant for hats slipped into his first half-marathon he ran this spring.

9. We love to play games together. The ones we play most often are: Yahtzee, Cribbage and Boggle. (His willingness to play Boggle with me is an act of love.)

8. The secondary love language for both of us is quality time which shows up in game playing, but also in almost daily or should I say --nightly -- talks debriefing about our day. I love it! So often he is ready for the sack but he devotes the time to talk with me. Now that IS true love!

7. I love his musical ability. He sings. He plays guitar. He drums. He breaks out into song often.

6. My planning heart can collide with his sequential "now what's next" ways. The flip side of this is that  he is great at being in this moment, right-now. Good for my soul, that is.

The Us Box in December 2011

5. I love his steady, happy self. He cheers up the household. It has steadied me much to be married to him.

4. I love his love for the Lord. He loves to go to church. He has such a clear idea of principles and just knows the right thing to do.

3. He works the equivalent of two jobs so that I can have the best job ever -- caring for our children and educating them. We have both been committed to that vision from the beginning.

2. He values my opinions, and my decisions. He trusts me. He supports me in so many ways. One of which is symbolized by allowing me to lead a women's Bible study. The kids are older so it doesn't cost quite as much now but he has always allowed me to have a ministry outside of our home.

Can you tell how much we like us by the amount of pix we take together?

1. The best thing that I love about Kip Jaeger is that I have been married to my best friend for 19 years. I have known him for more than half my life. He is the love of my life and my kindred spirit. I am thankful to have had so much time with him. May the Lord give us many more years to share.

How did you spend your Fourth of July? Would you like to count the ways you love your spouse?
Linking with Jen and the SDG sisters.

Precious

O precious is the flow of the sweet half-n-half. Especially when your own son biked to the store, bought it with his own money (earned from other people), and wrapped it up as Mother's Day Gift. 


Coffee is all about the half-n-half and the teasing about mommy's 'precious', a safe subject that a 13-year-old son and mom can joke about. Makes it all the more precious.


Mother's Day morning was filled with many other delights.

Every good and perfect gift is from the Father above. 

So thankful for these ones. And the extra one that has been given for me to mother for a little while 
(I took a pic with all 'five' of my kids but am posting this one due to privacy.)


What are you thankful for today?

'Tis the Season to be Thankful

May the weekend be stuffed full of counting every good and perfect gift.

Here is a small sampling of things I am thankful for.

I am thankful for chickens that recently came to visit. Some of our best friends came to visit. They came with chickens. How fun to have chickens in my house! Since I am a suburbia dweller for all the days of my life and I am not well-acquainted with animals, this was my first time to host poultry in my home. How about you? When is the last time you had chickens in your house?


I am thankful for a table that is worn with memories, including a dinner for two this summer while the children were away. I am thankful for the aunt and uncle who keep the kids for a week, creating special memories for the cousins.


I am thankful for fun, summertime memories with the 6 of us. Over ten days of travel, beautiful sunshine, family, and friends, culminating in the celebration of the wedding of good friends.



This is my favorite picture of the year. We went tubing this summer and it started at the K&K tubing company. How fun since those are our initials and we have delighted in being K&K for 18 years and it was close to our actual anniversary on this day. It is also a favorite picture because this day of renting tubes and floating down a river in Minnesota set off a chain reaction here in Tennessee when we told some good friends about it. Soon we were equipped with our own tubes and floating down a river in Tennessee. What a great way to cool off during a hot summer.



I am thankful for these four children: their creativity, their imagination in creating costumes, their playful spirits, and their loving hearts. It has been a mighty privilege to be their momma. I am a better person for being a mom. I am so thankful that God granted this desire. He does not grant all desires equally in the same quantity to the same people. I am so thankful for the ones He has granted to me.

I have a thankful heart.

How about you? What are you thankful for?

Happy Thanksgiving.

A Year Ago

Our house

A year ago, I was taking a cold shower wondering if we would have to sell the house. I was wondering not because the hot water heater was broken but because my husband was unemployed. It just so happened that the water heater broke two days before he was notified of his lay-off.

A year ago, I was also wondering if we would go into full-time vocational ministry. We had talked on & off through the years about it, especially if something cataclysmic happened. This seemed cataclysmic to me.

A year ago, I was wondering if we would move to Minnesota where all of my family lives.

A year ago, I was wondering how long our savings would last. Would it be enough?

Now, I know the answers to those questions: no, we didn't go into full-time ministry, move to Minnesota, see a zero balance in our bank account, or even try to sell the house.

But last summer, no one could tell me what would happen to us. They could only tell me their stories. Alike but different. No one knew the answers to those questions except One. And He wasn't talking.

My head wanted answers. He knew what my heart needed: the day-by-day practice of trusting Him and of seeing Him work in the big and the little things.

the hydrangeas in our front yard

Eight boxes of food were given to us the same day we had three extra children at our house. They stayed for five days. God gave to us so that we could give to others. My husband and oldest son "just happened" to wait a long time and then be given free doughnuts the first Saturday after the lay-off.

God didn't work in mysterious ways. He worked through a friend showing up at my door with groceries for a nice dinner. She came on a day that I was particularly discouraged. Another friend gave us a gift certificate for a restaurant and an offer for free babysitting. God gave to us abundantly.

Others gave us money. At different times. In different amounts. Because "we love you." All those gifts of money were the reason we didn't see the zero balance in our bank account. We were humbly loved. How sweet it is.

We canceled two trips up north to see family. Through the contrast of ease of travel to then not being able to travel, I saw how sure it was that God swept me up to Minneapolis at just the right time to be there -- at my brother-in-law's side when he took his last breath. He battled cancer for three and a half years. I live nine hundred miles away. Yet, God took me there at that moment. I was able to be with my sister for a week and half just after he died. How thankful I am that I was able to do something and be there when I live 900 miles away. And just as sure as he swept me there and back to Tennessee, I was unable to travel at all for 13 months.

Two canceled trips. He showed me that He is in control when I'm not paying attention (such as the ease to get to Minnesota just six weeks before) and when I am disappointed about rearranged plans. We canceled the enrollment of my oldest two in a writing class. Instead, we hosted a sign language class at our house, which became a treasured memory from last school year. His plan is better than mine.

Peace came through trusting Him. It did not come through answers or even a job. Yes, I was happy and relieved when my husband was offered a job six months later. But relief is not the same as peace.

The tree house that we built last summer and fall.

Today, I am thankful for my husband's job. I am thankful we were able to get back to Minnesota to visit family after a 13 month hiatus. I am thankful for a tree house that we built because of a canceled trip. I am thankful for more ways that God provided than I can list here. I am even thankful for the disappointments and the loss for I have gained something greater than any loss I felt.

"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord..." Philippians 3:8

I am thankful for the lessons learned while we were sailing on the Sea of Saturdays.

May I continue to walk in peace and not relief.

May I continue to know the surpassing greatness of knowing Jesus,

Humbly yours,

Kathleen

Welcome Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood from Jen @ Finding Heaven. Link on over there to find more inspiration of God at work.

Do you have a story to tell about looking back and seeing the hand of God work in your life? I would love to hear how God works through you, too.