On Waiting for Spring

The trees in our backyard: photo by my Firstborn.

On waiting....

On waiting for spring. In the dark, dreary, gray-clouded season of winter, I have been waiting for spring. At first winter is glorious, some snow. A chance to hunker down early for the night. To expect less of myself.

But then, one day there is a bright, sunshiny day in the midst of winter, reminding me that spring will come again. I look forward to it. It gets gray again. Then, I want spring. The next nice spring-like day comes again. And I rejoice in it. I revel in it. I'm so glad that it is here.

"Spring is here," I announce to myself. Then, it is gray and dreary again for it is only February. And remember the groundhog? He himself declared 6 more weeks of winter. I settle in and stop wishing for spring.

It is too hard to endure the gray & dreary days of February as I long for bright sunshine filled days of spring. Warm days with no coat. Warm days with no bugs in it yet. But it is too hard so I resolve not to think about spring anymore.

Then somewhere down deep in my heart, I find I have stopped waiting for spring. I stopped hoping.

And then, my five-year-old bursts through the door shouting, "Mommy, mommy." I think someone has been hurt. But no he is just running to bring me the first dandelion of spring. "Mommy this is for you." He says with his bright-grin.

The azaleas from our front yard last spring: photo by Kathleen.

And I am surprised. How can it be spring? How can something be growing? In the waiting, I failed to keep hoping. And now I am surprised by spring. Can it be here already? How can there be buds on the trees and daffodils in the ditches? It crept up unawares when I stopped waiting.

*****

What are you waiting for? Or have you stopped waiting

***

Today's post was inspired by Gypsy Mama's Five Minute on Friday writing prompt: On waiting. I found her blog through the Fan the Flame blog.

I decided to dive in and try this. And, actually, I was kind of surprised at the five minutes of writing that I did. After my five minutes of writing, I did edit two spelling words and add some quotation marks. But otherwise, this is what I came up with in five minutes of writing on this Friday, March 18 for the prompt: On waiting.

(From the Gypsy Mama's blog: This is the place where once a week we take the chance to just write, and not worry if it’s just right or not.

For five minutes flat.

Here’s how the game works: you simply stop, drop and write. Set your words free. Don’t edit them, don’t fret over them, don’t try to make them perfect.).

Join us over HERE and perhaps you'll be surprised with what you can do in five minutes, too.

Today

Today.

Today is the first time I remember seeing the sun in several days. The sunshine always help my mood.

Today we have no place to go. I am still in my robe and glasses. (Well, I was when I began this post but not now.) I am so thankful for a day with nothing already planned. Life has been packed. And the days ahead are packed with good things. I'm thankful for an unpacked day.

Today, I awoke to hear devastating news: an earthquake hit Japan and tsunami waves are still racing around the globe. My sister-in-law is from Japan. I'm thankful her family is from a different side of the island. I cannot fathom the devastation of it all or how terrifying it would be to experience this. My heart and prayers go out to the many people impacted. It is hard to absorb the magnitude of yet another disaster.

Today I am wishing that I was on the other side of training. I'm glad to be training. I am feeling some benefit to training (in several areas besides just physically). But, I still can feel my muscles growing. It's not always easy. I'm not to where these habits are completed without thinking. Actually, I am still giving a lot of energy to start them each day.

The good news is that momentum is growing on some new good routines that I have desired for a long time. I want them. I like this place better than before I started. But this new training schedule combined with a very packed schedule brings me to this Friday feeling a bit weary. I am hoping that having an easier day and enjoying the sunshine and the grace of God will be enough to keep pressing on.

This seems so small in comparison to having to deal with real tragedy, real crisis, like in Japan.

May God's grace and peace go with each of us today whether we need Him in small ways (like me) or in huge ways (like those in Japan.)

For some more Company Girl Coffee, click HERE.

Land ho!

We have crossed the Sea of Saturdays and landed on dry ground. We were sailing for six months, almost to the day. On July 12, 2010, my husband was notified that he was laid off. On January 13, 2011, my husband received a job offer. We've been walking on the shore for six weeks. We have land legs again.

Sweet Number Three sent this with her daddy
on the first day of work at his new job.

We're learning to walk in this country of New Jobs. It is more familiar than sailing on the Ship of Unemployment. For instance, taking the trash out on Tuesday nights has fallen back into place with no effort. The second evening that Daddy comes home in the week equals taking the dumpster to the curb. This is familiar.

Whew! There is much relief in going to work five days a week. But relief is not the same as peace. In the first weeks, I found myself overwhelmed at managing the new schedule and what is to come. I was relying on the relief of having a new job and not on the peace of God. How quickly lessons learned of trusting Him for the unseen flitter away.

Adjustments are still necessary. Husband leaves an hour and a half earlier than the last 17 years. On the happy side, he is home earlier. I have wanted that for a long time.

But....I am well entrenched to a late night schedule. Maybe one day we'll be all done with school, the table set, and dinner ready when Daddy comes home. Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, I'm aiming for that.

In the meantime, I'm working on a smile to greet him, no matter how behind I'm feeling and no matter how many things on the to-do list won't get done today. In the midst of the dinner crunch, I want to smile. A smile. That's all. Baby steps, you know.

I wouldn't trade sailing on the sea of Saturdays in the ship of Unemployment.

I didn't ask for it. I don't know that I would have asked for it or will ask for it again.

However, I am thankful. I am thankful for the sweetness of the Lord during the last six months. I am thankful for free babysitting, boxes of groceries, job leads, new contacts, encouraging cards and a myriad of other ways that we felt supported and loved these last six months.

I'm still musing about lessons learned.

In the meantime, we're all thankful for Daddy's new job.

Have you ever been thankful for difficulty in your life? Do you have anything that you are rejoicing over today?

Would you like to read some more encouraging words? Join Jen @ Finding Heaven for:

February Top Posts

A few months ago Blogger added a feature where I can analyze the stats of my blog. I find it interesting and enjoy looking at it. I mean if a writer writes and no one reads it, did they really write it? I'm greatly encouraged when I know someone has read it and had some sort of reaction to it. Love it!

I am not yet a prolific blogger, by any means. And yet, I find it interesting that two of the top five posts -- every week -- were written months ago. Fascinating to me, at least and probably the most interesting to me, too.

Just in case you would like to know, here are the

Top 5 Posts for the Month of February for Kath Ink:

1) Enough? posted on February 25, 2010

2) Carole Joy Seid Inspires Again posted on August 19, 2010

3) A Different Kind of Help posted on February 8, 2010

4) In the Middle of a Five Mile Run posted on January 29, 2010

5) A Transformation Has Taken Place posted on December 3, 2010

I wrote the Carole Joy Seid post in August after attending her homeschool conference. That post continues to be a top post for me time and time again. My blog comes up when someone does a search on her name.

Originally I didn't write much about homeschooling. But since that seems to be a topic that drives some to look at my blog occasionally, I have plans to write some more posts about it as I go. It makes sense since I spend much of my time either educating, or reading about education, or tutoring for a part-time job.

Imagine that? I was on the right track when I first declared an Elementary Education major in college. I changed my course many times and walked out with a degree but not in education. I really do love to teach. It doesn't matter too much the topic -- Bible studies, Sunday school, ancient history, or even the pythagorean theorem. So between realizing that it is of interest to others and myself...I guess I''ll write some more about it!

How about you? Do you analyze statistics for your blog? Has it changed the direction of your blog any?

Enough?

Is it enough? I keep asking this question.

When I asked it aloud to two of my Teacher Lounge friends, one of them asked, "What else do you think you should be doing?"

What a clarifying moment!


I don't want to do more. I am tired as it is. The to-do list is over-whelming at least it is when I dare to look at it. Most folks I know feel the same way -- busy and tired. Our 21st century American culture breeds stress. I'm not unique in this. But what is it that I'm really trying to ask?

I didn't know. The question kept creeping back in even after the clarifying moment.

"Am I doing enough?"

Most of it comes from homeschooling. Are we doing enough math? English? science? history? Art? Phy Ed?



I needed a better question. A better question will lead to a better answer. I disagree with the adage that there are no bad questions. There are better questions than others.

I remind my children of this often. When I hear from them, I want to know that they have thought about what they need. They need to come up with some possible solutions before they ask me instead of simply relying on me to guide them in everything. I want them to think.


I needed to think. If I am not doing enough, than my solution will be to do more. My time is limited. I can only do so much. I don't want to do more.

So a better question would be: Am I doing the right things? Am I doing the best things with the time that I have?

This leads to other questions, especially in light of homeschooling. What skills do they need to have? Can I assess their math and English skills and make sure that they are at grade level? What skills do they need to be successful adults? What kind of character traits are we building? Am I focusing the bulk of our time on the really important stuff?


One good question has lead me to more questions that help me to make decisions.

The accusatory "Am I doing enough?" question only seemed to stir up the guilt of falling short.

I like this new angle better. "Am I doing the right things?"

Though I don't really have any more answers than when I started (I actually have more questions now!), I am on a more peaceful path. It is a better path because it's headed in a more acheivable direction.

I would love to hear your insight. Have you had a clarifying moment lately? Have you asked a better question? What are some of the guiding principles you apply in your family to decide what activities to participate in or not?

I am linking up with Company Coffee today, join us in the conversation.

Rubber-band expansion

Near the end of the journey in the Voyage of the Dawn Treader as the travelers get close to the edge of the world, the light keeps getting brighter. They all have to expand their capacity to take in so much sun light.

I have been feeling that way. My capacity for absorbing all the good things in my life has needed to be expanded. This steady increase of being pulled in different directions has been drawing me out over time. Last April I felt pulled in new directions in my motherhood. I remember telling a friend that I don't think I can do it anymore. Not sure what it was. But I didn't think that I could keep on, keeping on with the normal, good, every day stuff.

No crisis. Just pulled. Stretched.

I sure didn't know that in a few days after making that comment, I would be further drawn-out as I went away for almost three weeks to help my sister while my husband flew solo at home. This was also before we were notified that my husband would lose his job. Yes, again more stretching.

I felt like a rubber band pulled tight. For a very long time. With no relaxing it to let the band return to its relaxed state.

Now, I realize that my capacity was being expanded for this new season of motherhood that I am entering. My capacity is now a new size of rubber band.

But really, it is not my capacity at all. It is the Lord's capacity working through me. In this fullness of many good things, He reminds me that I can't do it all. That trying harder just won't work. Instead, I need Him. Need Him to help me with all these things that are pulling me in many directions.

Directions that He has lead me to. He is here. In the midst of our many good things. Like a faithful Father, He began to expand my capacity last spring. For I think there is even more I am juggling now. Just as He gave those Narnian voyagers time to be able to absorb more light. So He is expanding me. But not expanded enough to think that I can do it without Him.

Have you felt expanded in new directions lately? Have you sensed God's faithful provision in it?

Be Kind

Be kind to those who are young,
they have a long way to go.

Be kind to those who are old,
they have come a long way.

Be kind to those who are in the middle,

they are the ones busy doing all the work.

--Saying on the wall of a hospital

Basically: be kind to everyone. Can you relate to this quote that I saw on the wall of a hospital a few years ago? I am definitely in the middle.

Which category are you in?