Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Near the end of the journey in the Voyage of the Dawn Treader as the travelers get close to the edge of the world, the light keeps getting brighter. They all have to expand their capacity to take in so much sun light.
I have been feeling that way. My capacity for absorbing all the good things in my life has needed to be expanded. This steady increase of being pulled in different directions has been drawing me out over time. Last April I felt pulled in new directions in my motherhood. I remember telling a friend that I don't think I can do it anymore. Not sure what it was. But I didn't think that I could keep on, keeping on with the normal, good, every day stuff.
No crisis. Just pulled. Stretched.
I sure didn't know that in a few days after making that comment, I would be further drawn-out as I went away for almost three weeks to help my sister while my husband flew solo at home. This was also before we were notified that my husband would lose his job. Yes, again more stretching.
I felt like a rubber band pulled tight. For a very long time. With no relaxing it to let the band return to its relaxed state.
Now, I realize that my capacity was being expanded for this new season of motherhood that I am entering. My capacity is now a new size of rubber band.
But really, it is not my capacity at all. It is the Lord's capacity working through me. In this fullness of many good things, He reminds me that I can't do it all. That trying harder just won't work. Instead, I need Him. Need Him to help me with all these things that are pulling me in many directions.
Directions that He has lead me to. He is here. In the midst of our many good things. Like a faithful Father, He began to expand my capacity last spring. For I think there is even more I am juggling now. Just as He gave those Narnian voyagers time to be able to absorb more light. So He is expanding me. But not expanded enough to think that I can do it without Him.
Have you felt expanded in new directions lately? Have you sensed God's faithful provision in it?